NEW WORDS FOR 2003 - Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was

missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on

everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and

advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only

to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube

farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn

into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with

the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the

magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you

find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime

example.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the

rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are oten profoundly

inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not

Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no

matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've

just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.

and my personal favorites........

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an

electronic device to get it to work again.

and.........

CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then

enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING

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